It's a messy world we live in
This year has been a bit of a mess. For some a mess sums it up, for others a mess does not come close to touching the emotional, trauma, or turmoil that has occurred in 2020. It has not been over a year since the first case of COVID 19 across the globe. How that has happened, how much has taken place in this short amount of time, how many terrible disasters, how many beautiful triumphs, is quite astounding. I don't want to discredit the messiness, the disaster, the tidal waves. The trauma. But every storm passes and there is beauty that awaits. I've wrote about this many times, added to it, thought about formulating my thoughts into comprehensible words. Now, as we are Lockdown number two, a larger wave, an almost more deeply felt isolation is taking place. We're emotionally exhausted from the year of overwhelming information, changes, new plans, old plans, misinformation, new information that we aren't quite as strong as we were individually in the beginning. In the beginning we were coasting on adrenal for what was to come... now we are a little beat up and some days take longer to stand. We can be weaker individually, we can feel this deeper, harder, with less resilience - but if we join together (from a distance) we can be stronger than we ever were to begin with.
When Covid first “hit” us here in Canada it was a bit surreal. We’d heard things around the world, some people had just been travelling, some had already been hunkered down for the end of winter and felt little worry to being at risk themselves.
Personally, I found we all
lifted each other up and turned on each other all at the same time. Here on
Vancouver Island the majority of the opinions were “shut down the ferries, keep
groups small, and limit who comes and goes” (myself included, fear does crazy things to us). As the panic has slowly subsided we have gotten used to our new norm, and have
learned to lean on and support one another, enjoy a slower pace of life and
cherish the ones we love.
It was actually in January when
the first person in British Columbia was tested positive for COVID 19. We are quickly coming up on one year of personally feeling these effects, this bungee cord we are stuck to of back and forth freedom and isolating fear, of
COVID 19.
Despite wanting this all to be
over, humans are really resilient, we can want and wish that and still adapt
and thrive in our new environment
For those of you who aren’t, who have depression, anxiety, live a generally unsettled new norm day to day YOU ARE COMPLETELY NORMAL.
Please read that again.
Say this out loud: every single emotion felt around COVID - good or bad, is completely normal, should be felt and validated, and can change and fluctuate as we move through this crazy experience. Every single person and every single lived experience of COVID 19 is allowed. If you are just fine, that’s normal, if you’re barely hanging on - you are not alone - and if you’re somewhere in the middle I think everyone can relate to that at some point.
When BC announced a health
emergency on March 18th, naturally, all of our little personal worlds kind of
imploded. Time has gone on and the tsunami waves of what’s to come have started
to get smaller. For nurses (speaking personally) we were hit hard
by the waves. Every day was a new protocol, a new scare (“we are going to run
out of masks by next week”, “our wave will be next week, we will be hit, you may not be able to go home, you should not go to the grocery stores, nurses and doctors are dying around the world”) - it
was hard on the outside too. KEEP YOUR MASKS. We'll find a way to reuse those. We don't have enough. Even though we use our
critical thinking and are educated well in what is going on - these things
still scare us. Terrify even. Because of the original lock down, and small slow spread across BC, and Canada, we have given companies time to develop more protective gear, to increase our stock of masks, to ensure our protocols are safe. In health care, dental care, education, emergency services - we all thank you, every day, for giving us that time - for keeping us alive. As our numbers are growing exponentially, our deaths rising, we ask you again - to comply with restrictions, to understand that you are not alone in your frustrations, you're not alone in your questions, in your tears, in your fears.
Now, on the island, our waves are little in comparison. Others are being hit with big waves. Teachers, dentists, hygienists to name (just) a few, I know there’s many more. They feel, hear and see the same thing. They are our heroes too and are scarifying their own health and safety (and fully trusting ever changing PPE) to stay at work as our numbers climb. We all have our role. Even if your role seems simple: wash your hands and wear your mask. It’s a role that can save your family, yourself, a nurse or a teacher.
Some days those waves come back harshly to let us know they’re still there. Here on Vancouver Island we are lucky. Overall... the trauma has been less. Sadly, we currently have over 7,300 active cases of COVID 19 in BC - and we're on Lockdown #2 with tighter restrictions every day. Hopefully these restrictions will lift for the holiday season, but overall we need to do better. We now see what the effects are and we know better - we can learn from this.
Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
—Maya Angelou
I know I’ve had some tough days, especially in the beginning, but I’ve felt a lot of gratitude toward the slow down, the ability to be accountable to myself, intentional and for the realization that busy was not serving me well. I miss a lot of things, I miss travel, I miss new experiences and people, but listening to guidelines and mandates and following these with respect and caution is saving other lives. So I thought I’d ask a few close and inspirational people how they have managed to stay balance “throughout“ COVID 19 (thus far). Spoiler: we are not all balanced, or even OK. Thank you for your honesty and sharing with me (again I didn’t ask
Here’s what these beautiful
people had to say when asked what small changes in their lives created or
maintained balance:
Stopped watching the news and doing home workouts with G (her daughter).
I was extremely embodied and in
tune with my body. I slowed down and rested when she asked me to. I ate when
she asked me to. I moved when she asked me to. I went inward when she asked me
to. I gained a deeper relationship with my body and her cues
Slowing down has allowed me to enjoy the boys more noticing all their little details. Another one is Spending less money, only ordering what we need for groceries not going into stores
For me honestly... Covid was
easy. BUT I would definitely say: keeping to a routine as much as I could!!
Continuing to still wake up early everyday, workout, get outside, keep my daily
habits and rituals, and going to bed early.
Getting outside more.
Surrendering to the awareness
that we cannot directly change what’s going going on around us. We let it be
and do our best, wear a mask and keep groups small.
Picked up my guitar again!
Well I didn’t stay balanced
through it all so I’m not sure if I can comment on that. Maybe learning to reach
out and ask for help more, although still working on that a bit.
We embraced restaurants being
closed and put energy into nourishing our bodies with organic and/or locally
sourced ingredients whenever possible. We made quite elaborate meals for just
the two of us. We also got into a great home workout routine. These efforts
really helped me to feel healthy and strong. I felt like I was doing my best to
control what I could within something so uncontrollable which in turn increased
my comfort and confidence that in the event I was exposed to COVID I would be as healthy
and strong as possible facing it!
Stopped sleeping ? Hahaha I am
as unnnnnnbalanced as they come.
I have made intentional movement
a priority (inside or outside) and created space to be calm and present. A lot
of reflections, gratitude and intentions - being accountable to myself (Also no News and lots of 7 day social media breaks). Lot's of yoga. Lot's of dog time.
Not really a change but probably
just staying dedicated to my exercise routine even when the gyms were closed.
Making sure I get still get out in nature and spend time with people. I
actually probably watch less tv since COVID too which isn’t what I would
expect.
Minimizing time on social media
and using that time to connect with family, friends and my hubby
I’d say dropping my usual sense
of urgency... be it responding to texts/messages, making decisions, or that
nagging “need” to be continuously productive.
I've realized that our new way
of living is to be patient. Having accepted that we can no longer "run
into a store or where ever" has taught me to be calm, wait my turn as we
cant be in a rush any longer and be kind to everyone. We are all in the midst of this new life
style.
Striking up conversations
with chickens
for my insanity, getting outside with hikes and exploring the gems of this
island for my health.
I’ve stayed much closer to home
and developed closer relationships with a few in my complex and it has really
helped me to feel less ‘alone’. Of course I have been very mindful of keeping a
very small circle so that I can be healthy and always ready to help with my
little boys
During Covid we all had the
chance to reflect on our relationships whether they were with friends,
acquaintances, or family. We had the opportunity to prioritize what we wanted
in our lives, and had no social obligations that left us feeling wasted time. We
had time to get comfortable in our own skin and come to terms with some
thoughts and emotions that had been pushed to the side and forgotten. Some of
us changed our careers or our career paths. Is work really all it’s chalked up
to be? Maybe, but maybe not!
Stay happy and healthy. Never be afraid to ask for help, never be afraid to ask for more from life. Remember to be extra gentle with ourselves and each other right now - kindness goes a long way, so does hand sanitizer and wearing your mask ;).
